The Bad Boys of Computer Science
A sporadically updated web comic from your friends at HotZP.
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Warning: This may start out a little grim and dour, so avoid the newspost if you're feeling particularly sensitive right now. I hope to end on a positive note -- albeit nothing so resoundingly optimistic as you might see at Framed!!! -- so try bearing with the initial stages of the post.
I don't know where to even begin with this, so I'll just start with the basics and work my way onward. The above photo was taken last year when my older brother and father visited New York City. It's already a historical document because there's no longer a World Trade Center upon which to stand. It seems unreal to think that the twin towers are gone, but they really are gone. However, the loss of the buildings is nothing compared to the heavy loss of life; the last conservative estimate I heard was 15,000 dead but the count could go as high as 50,000 by week's end. Basically, it's impossible to live a few years anywhere in New York and not have friends or family somewhere in New York City. I don't know a single local person who isn't one or two connections away from someone in NYC.
The air here is thick with sadness and fear. The illusion of security has been dispelled, and people are milling about dumbfounded with a lost desperate look in their eyes. I couldn't believe the news when my Mom called to tell me after it had happened. She said everything was like a "bad dream she couldn't wake up from." As Shel can readily attest to when she visited, my Mom is like a rock emotionally and very hard to read. When I can tell that she's visibly upset and shaken, that means she's screaming on the inside. It was only 6 AM where my brother was, but he was wide awake and worrying, because he knows my Dad often takes business trips into the city. It wasn't until that he was reassured by my mother over the phone that he began to relax even a little bit. I know nerves are ragged, emotions are raw: I saw a girl so hysterical that several people had to restrain her; she probably only weighed a hundred pounds, but it took several large men to restrain her as she sobbed and wailed. My heart broke when I saw her in that state. Like many other people in upstate New York, I know people in the city and am concerned for their safety. It isn't until lives are threatened that you really realize how tenuous life can be sometimes and how valuable relationships can be. If it's that's bad here, I can only imagine what the city itself is going through.
I'm only beginning to realize the larger implications of this entire event, though, as the ripples from this shockwave have spread throughout the entire world. I've been visiting a lot of the news sites and reading up on reactions all over the globe. I also heard from Shel twice today, and she gave me the European perspective. The first time she called, she was the one who needed consolation. As the day progressed, I started getting hit by the pervading sense of hysteria and panic that was spreading throughout all of New York and I had to call Shel for support this time. As Shel said, this is one of those times when you'll always remember where you were and what you were doing when the news broke. The only other such incident in my life is the Challenger disaster; I can remember with perfect clarity where I was and what I was doing, and this catastrophe makes the Challenger accident a mite of dust in the pages of history.
I don't really know where this is going, as I didn't plan what I wanted to write beforehand, nor will I go back and edit this afterwards. I really wrestled with whether or not I should update with a regular comic and proceed as normal while expressing my most sincere condolences and regards, or just give in to my initial impulse to just crawl into bed and curl up into a little ball; I've never felt Shel's immense distance from me so acutely until the moment when I really really needed a hug from her. I thought it would be more important to remember what happened and give fitting tribute. I'll keep this post up for the rest of the week and then begin posting comics again on Monday.
One thing I definitely wanted to discuss, though, was the disturbing but inevitable behavior that will arise from those who view Middle Easterns responsible for the attack. Maybe they're responsible, maybe they're not. I know all the fingers are starting to point at Osama bin Laden, but the Oklahoma City bombing was perpetrated by a former US soldier and other American conspirators. I agree in that bin Laden is the most likely suspect, but I seethe at the sentiments I see in which American citizens of Middle Eastern descent are somehow to blame. The next person who looks vaguely Middle Eastern is not to blame for the atrocities which occured. If you do something stupid that harms them, you're just perpetrating further violence against innocents. Work out your aggression, frustration, and anger by punching a sack of potatoes for forty-five minutes (to steal a literary allusion from my friend Brian). Just don't go rushing off in an angry unthinking rage. It's not solving any problems. You can help solve problems by donating blood, money, and time for volunteer work.
I have an ache in my chest that just won't go away, but the feelings of pain and sadness are beginning to abate, however slightly. I was given great heart upon hearing the news that clinics in New York had to start turning people away because so many throngs of people lined up to give blood. Americans are known across the world to be stubborn and rude. I've never been more glad to be in a nation of stubborn bastards. The cowardly terrorists will not beat down the American spirit or resolve. Our false sense of security and invincibility may have been shattered, but that doesn't mean that we're going to back down or fold. Life WILL go on. Today's activities were greatly disrupted, but I plan on going back to class tomorrow, ready to learn. I hope that New York City will rebuild a new World Trade Center where the old one has fallen. A great many lives were lost in a terrible needless tragedy, but that doesn't mean that we're beaten or broken. When the United States discovers who the culprits are, we'll show them just how rude and stubborn our citizens can really be. The last thing we need is any sort of internal discord. We have enough strife on our hands without creating any more. I don't have much sense of hope at the moment, but there's a glimmer of it that exists and it's growing as time passes.
It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. It's not okay to let this get to you in such a way that you can't function as a thinking feeling human being. I don't believe in God, but that doesn't mean I can't hope and pray for the best for all of those who may have lost friends or family on Sept. 11, 2001. Shel was right, we'll remember this day for the rest of our lives and how it affected us. Our entire nation has lost its innocence in regards to foreign affairs. We were given a rude awakening and will be forced to grow up globally at an accelerated pace, but I know we can handle it.
I don't think I really made much sense with this post, but I feel better after having written it. I hope readers will similarly feel better and not worse after having seen it. Some day, I hope my brother and father will be able to visit and take a new picture at the second World Trade Center. The American Spirit lives on. I've included a couple of new music selections, one is a general message I hope to convey and the other is just a bit of humor to get your mind off things.
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